Because Everybody Else Has One

I suppose I should hold off with this roundup until I've seen the new Conan: The Barbarian film but since it was barely press screened and I am in no rush to see it, I might as well just post a few thoughts on the rest of the films that I did see. I should also point out that I haven't seen The Ward but that wasn't press screened at all and only a handful of cinemas are showing it throughout the country, I can't really be bothered.  Anyway, onto what I have seen.  Love, Wedding, Marriage is a pretty bad rom-com that I really wish was a whole lot worse. Oh what I would give for it to be a truly hateful, detestable piece of excrement that I could properly dig into - not just because at least then I would have more to say about the wretched thing but I might also have not needed the IMDB's plot synopsis and the film's trailer to remind me what the hell it was actually about. That I saw Love, Wedding, Marriage a few months ago certainly doesn't help but...

This one has already been posted on Channel24, though it only opens on Friday, so I might as well post my unedited (though only slightly unedited, to be fair) review of this Disney classic here as well. From Channel24 What it's about A 3D reissue of the modern day animated Disney classic about Simba, a young lion that abandons his kind and his responsibilities as a new king, after believing himself responsible for the death of his father, King Mufasa. What we thought It's fairly shocking to believe that it has been nearly 17 years since The Lion King first hit cinemas. Not only because I cannot believe it has been that long since I originally saw it - on the big screen and in Zulu as a school outing with the rest of my school's standard 5 (that's grade 7, to you 21 st century kids) Zulu class – but because it's astonishing how old fashioned the film feels after less than two decades.

Not a great week for films... at least not based on what I've seen. French film Incendies and local flick Retribution were also released but I have not seen them. Cowboys and Aliens has the sort of title that begs to be either warmly embraced by those of us who like a good bit of schlock in our cinema diet or scoffed at by pretty much everyone else. The biggest problem is that the film tries to hard to win both audiences and, in the process, alienates even the b-movie-loving geeks who would normally flock to a film called Cowboys and Aliens. It's not a terrible film by any means - how could it be when you have John Favreau, the director of Iron Man, working with current Bond Daniel Craig, current "It" girl Olivia Wilde and Harrison Frickin' Ford in a crazy mashup of the science fiction and western genres - but it is much, much less fun than it should be. It does pretty well as a western and Craig makes for a solid "Man With No Name"-type gun-slinging...

I have to admit, with the week's two biggies out of the way, I very almost forgot to do my usual roundup of the rest of the week's films. Anyway, it's a bit late, but here are some thoughts on a couple of films - one good, one, um, not. Lets start off with the good. Welcome to the Rileys is a fairly typical indie drama that mostly works while it's on but won't leave too much of a lasting impression. The story about a couple reeling from the death of their own child being drawn into the life of a wayward teenage stripper is elegant in its simplicity and it's certainly quite moving in parts but the almost fable-like story doesn't entirely gel with the cinema verite style in which it is filmed. For all of its problems, though, Welcome to the Rileys is a convincing study that allows its three main actors to really bring their A-games to the table. James Gandolfini and Melissa Leo are equally brilliant as parents broken by the loss of their child and the nu...

Before getting to a roundup of the rest of the week's releases, I want to shine a spotlight on Terence Malick's Tree of Life. As the work of one of cinema's great perfectionists, it's clearly a very important work but does that mean I have to like it? What follows is as much my reaction to the reaction of the film as it is to the film itself and, I must warn you, this will go on a bit and will, undoubtedly, be more than a little rambly and self-indulgent. But then, considering the film, that seems oddly appropriate. Also posted as Artslink . Terence Malick's latest film, Tree of Life, has gotten probably more gushing, five-star reviews than any other release this year. Most critics simply absolutely adore this film. Me? I don't get it.

Starting off the weekend with a review of what was a very pleasant surprise... From Channel24 What it's about: Taking the old franchise back to its origins, Rise of the Planet of the Apes tells the story of how a potential miracle cure for Alzheimers disease ends up giving the apes on whom it is tested, human-levels of intelligence - setting up a chain of events that would forever alter mankind's supremacy as earth's dominant species. What we thought: It was hard not to walk into Rise of the Planet of the Apes without at least some trepidation. The previous attempt to revive the franchise was 2001's dire Tim Burton "re-imagining", which still rates as the worst thing he has ever done and ensured that no further attempts would be made throughout the rest of the decade. Here we are, though, ten years later and rather than remaking the series, they're doing something even more dubious: they're giving us the backstory that led to th...

I'm late with this again but here we actually have a fairly small week in terms of films that I've actually seen. Also released were Skoonheid, Soul Surfer and African Cats, all of which I have missed but as for what I've seen, it was a pretty damn decent week for film. Tamara Drewe was released on something like three screens throughout the country but I am covering it because a) I'm sure you will be able to find it on DVD in no time at all and b) it has become such a rarity for British films to actually make it to cinemas in our country that I'm not simply going to ignore one that actually does. Tamara Drewe is based on a generally well-regarded British graphic novel that I have admittedly not read but there's little point in getting into the film's plot as it really is a collection of cascading stories about a group of characters whose lives are affected, to various degrees, by the presence of our titular protagonist : a very beautiful but very t...

Another month, another very good Marvel superhero movie... (My original review goes on a bit so it was slightly edited on Channel24 . Check that version out if you want the less rambly review or read on for my original.) What it's about Steve Rogers, a brave but physically weak and frail young man, is deemed unfit for military service but his determination to fight for his country at the height of the USA's involvement in World War 2 leads to his volunteering for a top secret government program that will turn him into Captain America, a super-soldier and the living and breathing embodiment of American idealism. What we thought It's not for nothing that Captain America comes with the subtitle “The First Avenger”. Unlike the Marvel superheroes that we have so far seen our screens, Captain America was created a couple of years after Superman, rather than a couple of decades. Unlike Spider-man, The X-Men, Thor or Iron Man, Captain America was also not c...

Jock of the Bushveld may have taken the number one spot in South Africa over the weekend but I don't see much life in it beyond that - certainly not overseas. The rest of the stuff on release this week are far more deserving of your cash - even if they do vary in quality quite a bit. First, and by far the best, is Super 8. Much has been said about this film basically being one long love letter to the films of its producer, Steven Spielberg and I'm certainly not going to argue with that. Super 8 does have the feel of a classic Spielberg blockbuster and, as a fan of the great man, it hit all the right notes as far as I'm concerned: the ET-on-steroids alien that just wants to go home; the Jurassic-Park-inspired monster action; themes of families and friendship; untrustworthy government types; a group of children being the lead characters and the sort of genuine sense of wonder and excitement that Spielberg, at his best, is known and loved for. It is also very much a love ...