Because Everybody Else Has One

I know, I know, things have been very slow lately. The good news is that I should soon have a roundup of the rest of September's films but, for now, my take on this year's most surprising comic book film. Also at Channel 24 What it's about In the future, the only thing that stands between Mega City One, a decaying, ultra-violent metropolis, and total chaos are the Judges – a select group of law enforcement agents who are given the power to act as judge, jury and executioner. The ruthless, uncompromising Judge Dredd is the city's most feared and revered Judge, but when Dredd and Judge Anderson, a rookie judge he is in the process of field testing, go after a particularly malicious drug dealer/ crime boss, the hunters soon become the pray as they finds themselves trapped in a locked-down city block with a price on their heads and scores of cut-throat criminals on their tails. What we thought In a year when you have The Avengers, Batman and Spider-man ...

Another franchise film, another chance to piss off legion of franchise fans. Oh, how I love my job! Also up now at Channel 24 .  What it's about Aaron Cross (Jeremy Renner) is a deep-undercover agent who, as a result of the actions of Jason Bourne in the previous three films, suddenly finds himself the target of the very agency he once served. What we thought Bourne Legacy – or, as it may just as easily be called, Bourne Free, Bourne Without or Seriously Where the Hell is Bourne – is one of the weirdest franchise films ever released cinematically. We've had plenty of spin-offs before (Elektra, The Chronicles of Riddick) but they tend to, well, spin off in their own directions and have little to do with forwarding the plot of the originals. We've even seen spin-offs that have just about nothing to do at all with their originating films (the excruciating America Pie: Presents series) and tend to go straight to DVD or video. What we have with Bourne...

Bring on the hate mail! Also up at Channel 24 What it's about: In the fifth movie in the  Resident Evil  franchise we find our heroine Alice (Milla Jovovich) awakening as a prisoner in the midst of a top secret compound belonging to the Umbrella Corporation - whose bio-weapons caused the zombie plague that has all but eradicated humanity. After being helped by members of a resistance movement, Alice sets out to free herself from this compound as she learns more about her past and the intentions of the Umbrella Corporation. What we thought: Aside for small snippets, I haven't seen a Resident Evil  film since the first film. I have to get that disclaimer out of the way out of fairness to the series' fans but, to be honest, it doesn't really matter. While we're on the subject, I may be a casual game player – as opposed to a hardcore gamer – but I've never played any of the  Resident Evil  games. Again, I mention this simply so that fans understand that ...

You bet your ass I'm reviewing the Katie Perry movie. Last year, we were treated to a 3D documentary about Justin Bieber that ended up being far more enjoyable than its subject would ever dare to suggest. Now, the teen-driven pop world is trying its hand at much the same thing again, but this time with a pop starlet that, though her music is only marginally better, promises to up the fun ante quite a bit. And I say this not only as a hot-blooded, straight male but as someone who likes their disposable pop music with personality and a bit of a campy edge. The things that are wrong with Katy Perry: Part of Me are so obvious that they barely deserve mentioning but, as you may have guessed, it is a film that is, at its heart, a fairly crass vanity project that is more a shameless bit of self-promotion and self celebration, decidedly less a biting documentary. Musically too, the results are not that surprising but, I for one, still find I Kissed a Girl to be a solidly catchy and ...

Starting off the 59 films released last week, we have a crushingly disappointing science fiction comedy. I know. What are the odds? Science fiction comedies are clearly hard to do. For every Men in Black, we seem to have a hundred Men in Black 2s. Sadly, The Watch is far, far closer to the latter than the former. All four of the gentlemen in the poster to the left have been funny at various times in their careers, but you wouldn't think so based on the evidence on display here. The premise of The Watch is, like so many high concept misfires, really rather promising: a group of dopey guys form a neighbourhood watch to protect their neighbourhood from petty crimes but soon find themselves protecting the world itself from an alien invasion. Nothing spectacular, but plenty of potential. It's a pity then that no one let the filmmakers know that you actually have to do something with a promising premise, you can't just let it lie there. "Lie there" is unfortuna...

Late again! Sorry about that but this time I have something of an excuse: my laptop was stolen! Anyhoo, we should be back in the swing of things soon, starting with this late review of a really cool and very weird little comedy drama. Despite Sean Penn's appearance on the poster and, for that matter, in the film itself, This Must Be the Place is based on a song, not by The Cure, but by The Taking Heads. And, it should be said, it's pretty easily my favourite Talking Heads song, which is jut as well because This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody) appears something like a dozen times throughout the film in various forms and cover versions. It even shows up in a full live performance by David Byrne himself that would perhaps have been self-indulgent, if its pay off wasn't so perfect. I am, however, getting a head of myself. This Must Be the Place tells the story of Cheyenne, a burned out former rock star from that very particular miserabilist post-punk music scene, who em...

It's great to see a music documentary in local cinemas and it's especially great when the documentary in question is this wonderful. Also available at Channel 24 What it's about A documentary about a couple of South African fans who set off on a transatlantic journey to discover what happened to their musical hero, Rodriguez, a 1970s American singer/ songwriter who, though completely unknown in his native country, was a tremendous success in South Africa. What we thought There's nothing particularly new about a great, “lost” 1970s musical artiste being discovered years after the fact, usually earning such hyperbolic praise as “better than Dylan!” or “The Beatles of the '70s!” along the way. Nick Drake, Big Star, Townes Van Zandt, Badfinger: the list goes on and on. Singer/ songwriter, Rodriguez, could so easily fit into into that category, if it weren't for one small fact: Rodriguez was HUGE in the 1970s and he was in many ways more popul...

Oops, almost overlooked this one. You know how in Michael Bay's Armageddon a bunch of astronauts embark on a mission to destroy an asteroid that's hurtling towards the earth? Well, Seeking a Friend for the End of the World is about what happens when those astronauts fail in their mission and the entire earth is given just three weeks before all life on the planet comes to an end. Rather than going for the epic melodrama of Armageddon or Deep Impact, Seeking a Friend plays out as an unassuming, indie comedy-drama that centres around two fairly ordinary people - a sullen middle-aged man wondering where his life went (Steve Carrell) and a 20-something hipster (Keira Knightley) who just wants to get back to her family in England after spending far too much time in an unhealthy relationship. The two strike up a friendship as she promises to help him find a lost love, while he promises to get her to a private plane to get her back to her family and her homeland. As expec...