Because Everybody Else Has One

Meh. Just meh. This review is also up at Channel 24 . What it's about Thirty years after their last match, two retired boxers are coaxed back into the ring for one final match, but great and deeply entrenched personal animosity between the two means that this is one match that is about a lot more than just sportsmanship. What we thought Saying that Grudge Match is the long-awaited answer to who would win in a fight between Sly Stallone's charmingly fictional Rocky Balboa and Robert Deniro's take on the decidedly charmless and sadly all too real Jake La Motta, might seem like a great way to sell the film, but bringing up either Rocky or Raging Bull in this context is a frankly disastrous mistake. While I have always hated Raging Bull because of just how hateful its lead character is, it's impossible to deny what an artistic triumph that film was (Raging Bull remains, incidentally, my go to answer for explaining how far apart objective criticism and person...

I may, as always, have some catching up to do but there was no way that I wasn't going to give at least a quick look into one of the past year's best and most important films. Giving my highest of highest recommendations to Steve McQueen's 12 Years a Slave may come with the caveat that it is a truly grueling, almost physically difficult film to sit through, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't earn every one of those ten stars and it certainly doesn't mean that you shouldn't race out to see it - just be prepared for a cinematic experience that is anything but fun. In the same way that Schindler's List was far from the first film to deal with the Holocaust but has gone down as the one Holocaust film that everyone needs  to see, 12 Years a Slave will very possibly go down as the quintessential American slavery film. Also, like Schindler's List, this astonishingly true tale of Solomon Northop (played here with understated, mesmeric brilliance by...

No, seriously. This one really ain't for the kids. It's kinda great though. And hey, I just realized. Wolf of Wall Street is basically The Great Gatsby on acid... or is that Quaaludes? And they both star Leo DiCaprio in the title role... what are the odds? This review is also up at Channel 24 What it's about The true story of Jordan Belfort that tracks the ups and downs of his wildly freewheeling life from rookie stock broker to major mover and shaker to major target of the federal government to his inevitable downfall. What we thought Martin Scorsese's latest depiction of sordid humanity has been called everything from “his best film since Goodfellas” to “disgusting” but though just about everything about The Wolf of Wall Street is admittedly hyperbolic by nature, such hysterical observations only serve to obscure both all that is great about the film, as well as its few missteps. First, the idea that Wolf is some sort of return to form is obviously a...

So, this week at the cinema is all about the sexy time - though in a way that isn't always that comfortable. Either way, whatever you do, don't check out the two big new releases this week with your parents or kids. Or perhaps even your significant other, come to think of it. This review is also up at Channel 24 What it's about Jon (Joseph Gordon Levitt) is in many respects a regular joe who is close to friends and family, attends church regularly and works a basic job, but his tendency to objectify everything from cars to his body to members of the opposite sex means that he finds it all but impossible to form a meaningful, committed relationship with a woman – a problem that is exacerbated by his obsession with pornography. Things soon start to change for Jon though,when he meets and falls for the voluptuous, sexy Barbara (Scarlett Johansson) whose own obsession with Hollywood's depiction of romance means that she too has trouble managing her expectations in r...

No. Not that one. This review is also up at Channel 24 . What it's about Two friends decide to rob the armoured car depository where the one works as a security guard but with a hardened cop on the one side and some seriously shady criminals on the other, things quickly start to go wrong. What we thought Despite its title, Empire State is neither about one of the tallest buildings in the world, nor is it about the fictional Marvel Comics university and that's unfortunate because what the film is really about is far less interesting than a straight documentary on either of those things could ever hope to be. Empire State is the name of the place that our two anti-heroes decide to rob in the, what, third film released this year about a bunch of dopes finding out that there's no such thing as a simple crime? Admittedly, it's no where near as awful as The Counsellor but it's also nowhere near as much fun (in a grotty, dirty, unbalanced kind of way) as Pa...

I don't have internet access for most of this week, so you're going to have to wait a little longer for my year-end roundup and for some mini reviews of a bunch of films currently on circuit that are actually worth your time. For now though, here are two of my reviews that were published over at Channel 24 this past weekend. Sorry for the delay. Check it out Channel 24 as well, if you're so inclined. What it's about Carrie White is a shy girl, raised by an overbearing ultra-religious mother who, while trying to navigate the embarrassments and cruelty that comes with being a high school outcast, has to come to terms the very powerful and very deadly telekinetic powers that she has suddenly started to develop. What we thought I am probably going to get a lot of flack for this but I was never the biggest fan of the original Carrie. Stephen King, who authored the novel on which both Carrie films are based, may consider it to be one of the most successful ada...