Because Everybody Else Has One

I'll have a bunch of quickie reviews for some other notable movies soon, I promise. For now though, The Muppets' latest, This review is also up at Channel 24 What it's about After coming together again in the last movie, the Muppets embark on a world tour but their happy reunion may be short lived as their new manager and his boss, the evil Kermit look-alike Constantine, use the tour as a cover for a string of heists leading to their ultimate target: England's Crown Jewels. What we thought Who doesn't love the Muppets? With their wealth of personality and killer jokes that works equally as well for adults as they do for children, it's hardly surprising that Jim Henson's legendary creations are enjoying yet another big screen revival. Their self-titled 2011 film brought The Muppets to a new generation with all the jokes, heart and old fashioned puppetry – this may be the 21 st century but fortunately no one dared to try and digitise these cruc...

I still have a few more of last week's releases to look at but I'm going to do something completely different and review a film days before it actually comes out. I'm just that excited by it... If you've been waiting for Marvel Studios to take their first major stumble and break the chain of good to excellent films that they've been releasing for years now, I'm afraid you're just going to have to wait a while longer. Captain America: The Winter Soldier doesn't just continue Marvel's winning streak, though - it seriously ups the ante. Never mind just being infinitely better than its predecessor, the good Captain's latest adventure may well be the most creatively satisfying Marvel movie to date. It's best to know as little about the plot going in as possible but The Winter Soldier shifts from the war movie dynamics of its predecessor towards what is basically a spy film on steroids. While Cap continues to settle into life in the 21st c...

Lets kick off this quite large week with a review of yet another really good coming of age story. I will have reviews of the rest for you soon but don't expect anything on Reasonable Doubt (which was screened at an inconvenient time at the last minute - also it's apparently rather less than great) and Single Mother's Club (because by now you should know whether or not Tyler Perry is for you and I can't stand his stuff) anytime soon. This review is also up at Channel 24 .  What it's about Sutter Keely is a popular high school kid who lives his life according to the philosophy of “living entirely in the now”, as is attested to by his lack of interest in his post-high school future and his total callousness towards an increasingly obvious drinking problem. His life changes expectantly, however, when he wakes up on the lawn outside the house of Aimee Finicky – an introverted, “nice” girl in his class whose existence he had never so much as registered before – a...

This was a pretty big week so while I have already covered two of this week's major releases, there are still a few more to go. I, Frankenstein. If you though the Underworld movies are the best ever representation of vampires and/ or werewolves then this is for you. This witless, unexciting, derivative, nonsensical garbage is about as bad a retelling of Mary Shelly's classic tale as you could hope to find. Well, semi-retelling anyway. It does start in those way-back days with the creation of the monster by Victor Frankenstein and the monster's ultimate rejection by his maker and the rest of the human world after he takes a human life but most of the film takes place in the present where the Monster (soon christened Adam before finally taking his creator's name) gets caught up in a war between the heaven-sent Gargoyles and the decidedly more hellish demons and while he tries to gain a better understanding of his origins, the demon boss tries to use Victor Frankenste...

Unbelievably, this week sees the release of two truly excellent movies - and they couldn't possibly be more different from one another.  First up, the return of Alexander Payne. Now in glorious black and white! This review is also up at Channel 24 . What it's about Father and son, Woody (Bruce Dern) and David (Will Forte) Grant, embark on a roadtrip from Billings, Montana to Lincoln, Nebraska to claim the million dollars that Woody is convinced is owed to him from a piece of junkmail marketing that he receives in the post. Their already fairly frayed relationship is put to the test as David is forced to indulge his father's fantasies and monosyllabic gruffness – and that's before the two make a stop in the small town where Woody grew up and parts of his family still live. What we thought Nebraska hits squarely on two of director Alexander Payne's favourite subjects: cross-country roadtrips and complicated family dynamics and it does so with all the de...

This was a pretty big week for movies. Some are great, some are terrible and some fall right in between. Ladies and gentlemen... Kevin Hart's 568th film this year! And it's only March! This review is also up at Channel 24 What it's about A remake of the 1980s film of the same name, which was itself based on the David Mamet play Sexual Perversity in Chicago, About Last Night follows the ups and downs of the relationships between two couples as we follow them from their first introductions in a bar to their sexual dalliances that soon turn into long-term committed relationships. What we thought Despite initial appearances to the contrary, the interesting thing about About Last Night is that it is not merely a pointless remake that exists purely as some sort of politically correct stunt where it tells the same story but with black characters in place of the uber-Caucasian Brat Pack cast of the original. Or, at the very least, if political correctness was actually ...

No need for a roundup this week, as this is the only other film I've seen of this week's meager selection. I missed the screening for the Grandmaster (general reaction: pretty but lame) and Winnie Mandela wasn't press screened for critics, was filmed four or five years ago and looks to be a cheaper version of Long Walk to Freedom so I wouldn't exactly hold my breath for it being any good. Speaking of not being any good... Zack Snyder's adaptation of 300, Frank Miller's Dark Horse graphic novel, was a stylish, deliriously goofy take on the Ancient Greek legend of the three-hundred Spartan warriors that alone kept overwhelming Persian forces at bay. It was dumb, it was corny and it was, of course, one of the most homoerotic action films ever made - which is really saying something - and it garnered for itself quite the fan base. This was 2006, after all, and Frank Miller hadn't quite burned his good name entirely (unless you happened to be a major Batma...

Small week, not a good week. This is probably the week to catch up on those great Awards season movies (and don't you dare miss the under-represented Inside Llewyn Davis and Saving Mr Banks) and leave the new releases for next week. First up, this week's Channel 24 review, which is basically a gender-flipped sub-American-Pie sex comedy.  What it's about Brandy Klark, a bookish school valedictorian decides that it wouldn't do to enter college as a virgin so she draws up a “to do list” of the various sexual acts she wants to experience during her summer vacation between the end of high school and the beginning of college. At the top of her list is having sex for the first time with a hunky but immensely stupid guitarist. What we thought In the middle of a cast filled with TV stalwarts, The To Do list features Modern Family's young Nolan Gould but those of us who are used to seeing him as an awkward teenager may be surprised to see just how young he is he...

And now, as a break from my usual film reviews, here's a write up I did for South Africa's Cine Prestige line of luxury cinemas. This review was originally published at Channel 24 . Cine Prestige has been open at The Zone in Rosebank since April 2012 and, despite its premium price, it's easy to understand why these cinemas are soon to become fixtures at a number of new locations throughout this coming year. After having already opened a second Cine Prestige cinema at Cradlestone Mall in Johannesburg's West Rand in November last year, these incredible cinemas are set to also open in Sandton City, The Grove Mall (Pretoria) and Gateway Shopping Centre (Durban) during the first half of 2014. This review is based on my watching a 10 PM showing of Anchorman 2 at The Zone's Cine Prestige last Tuesday night, which was only my second visit to this luxury cinema after having seen a preview of The Wolf of Wall Street last year. While Scorsese's latest masterpiece...

Just two movies left to finish off this week. Well, three technically but I have no earthly idea what The Perfect Wave is supposed to be. American Hustle.  Following hot on the heels of his last film, the quite terrific Silver Linings Playbook, American Hustle finds director/co-writer David O Russell on rather different ground. Moving from the character-driven intimacy of Silver Lining Playbook to a plot-and-style-driven crime caper that plays like a more flippant, less intense Goodfellas, it is, if nothing else, impressive how easily O Russell shifts gears from one genre to the next. American Hustle is a sprightly and attractive slice of pure entertainment that has what to say about identity verses appearance but somehow still feels slightly hollow for it. It may have garnered as many nominations as its predecessor and it's just as handsomely made, but it never quite manages to match the heart or the depth of Silver Linings Playbook. American Hustle tells the largely true s...

Ah this is more like it. This review is also up at Channel 24 What it's about Based on the true story, it's 1985 and Ron Woodroof has just been diagnosed with HIV and given 30 days to live, but his determination and sense of self preservation gives him a new lease on life as he takes on the medical establishment and starts offering help – for a price, of course – to AIDS patients like himself by bringing in non-FDA-approved drugs into America from Mexico. What we thought Whatever else you might say about the film, Dallas Buyer's Club features what may be the highpoint in Matthew McConaughey's career-reinventing “McConeissance”. After making a career of starring - generally sans shirt - in truly awful romantic comedies, the past couple of years have found McConaughey consciously correcting the course of his acting career and giving breathtaking performances in some truly impressive films. From playing a romantic fugitive in Mud to wowing everyone as a parti...

There were some good movies released this week. This was not one of them. This review is also up at Channel 24 What it's about Based on the true story of one of America's most deadly serial killers, Jack Holcombe is an Alaskan state trooper who knows that the widely respected Robert Hansen is a brutal serial killer who kidnaps, rapes then murders women but he doesn't have the evidence to prove it. That changes however, when Cindy Paulson becomes the only woman to ever escape Hansen's clutches, but can Holcombe get her to come forward and confront a killer or will she simply vanish into a seedy, self-destructive life of prostitution and drugs? What we thought As serial killer stories go, the one that Frozen Ground is attempting to tell isn't necessarily original but it's a good solid true-life crime story that should make a good true-life crime film. Unfortunately, it doesn't. Not by a long shot. Despite a solid premise, good actors and fittingly ...

Just in time for my look at this week's movies, a look back at the films that came out last week. Oh, but first a  Channel 24 review. And, no, I'm not giving it it's own post. It doesn't deserve one.  What it's about Surly, a wily squirrel has been expelled from his park community but while he wonders the scary city streets, he comes across a nut store with all the nuts he and his park brethren will need to survive the winter. What Surly doesn't know though is that the nut shop is actually a front for a bank robbery by a gang of human criminals. What we thought Just about the only good thing to be said about the Nut Job is that it has some perfectly OK character designs and its animation in general is quite nice. Other than that, this third-rate, Loony Toons rip-off will quickly be forgotten by its target audience(kids still watch Loony Toons, right?), while their parents will be left wondering just how in the hell they got stuck watching a kids f...