Because Everybody Else Has One

There's no "Rock Angels" in sight here... but Exodus: Gods and Kings is all the worse for it. This review is also up at Channel 24 .  What it's about You know the story. Sent down the Nile river in a basket to avoid Pharoah's decree of the drowning of all baby boys new-born to their Jewish (or “Israelite”) slaves, Moses was saved by Pharaoh's daughter who raised him as her own in Pharaoh's court. As he grows older though, Moses is made aware of his alien lineage and through a particularly uncanny encounter with a burning bush, his destiny is revealed to him: to stand up and lead his nation out of their bondage in Egypt to the promised land of Canaan. What we thought As a practicing Jew, I am, shall we say, quite familiar with the story of Moses and the Exodus from Egypt. It's an event that is seen as perhaps the crucial moment in the formation of the Jewish people and is not only alluded to constantly in Jewish prayers, it is som...

It's that time of the year again and, though I missed it last year (sorry about that), here's my take on the best and worst in film in 2014, which, as it turns out was really rather good.  Just a few things to keep in mind: 1) I'm going purely by South African release date so there will be a bunch of films on here that came out last year in the US and the UK, especially, and, by the same token, there will be a few that came out overseas this year that haven't been released yet. I've actually seen a number of really good films due for release in 2015 so look out for those if I do this next year. 2) I'm not rating these films in any order other than in a loose chronology. Not just because I don't have the balls to do so but because comparing, say, Guardians of the Galaxy with Calvary seems like a stupid idea. 3) I didn't try and make a balanced list between mainstream Hollywood and "art" movies. It just came out this way. 4) Whittling t...

More "meh" than "woah"... This review is also up at Channel 24 What it's about John Wick is a retired assassin who, while dealing with the death of his wife, is thrown back into his former world as he seeks revenge against those who took the only thing he had left of her. What we thought John Wick has been met with a surprising amount of praise, not only for its success as a stripped down action-thriller but for Keanu Reeves' central performance in it. As near as I can tell, this probably has more to do with how hungry general audiences are for halfway decent action movies and just how much slack most of us are willing to cut Mr Reeves than with any real merit of the film itself. Not that it's a bad movie or that Reeves is particularly bad in it, but it's ultimately more solidly efficient than it is anything truly special and Reeves' performance is more a reminder of why he's a star in the first place than any sort...

Voodoo Child... slight return? This review is also up at Channel 24 What it's about After nearly losing her life in a horrific car accident, Jessabelle returns to her childhood home where she has to confront not only her estranged father and bitter sweet memories of a mother who died before she ever got to knew her but also a malicious spirit that has long been awaiting her return. What we thought Jessabelle has fallen prey to some criticism that it is yet another horror movie about decent white folks being terrorised by evil black people and their mysterious ways but it's actually this dynamic that holds the entire film aloft. The film is less about race relations – though it certainly touches on it – than about modern, rational Westerners being haunted by ancient forces that they can't understand: Voodoo in this particular case. Voodoo has been of major interest to Western storytellers for years and for good reason. Whether it forms the exotic b...

Actually quite a bit to talk about this past month because, as it turns out, there was more going on in cinemas last month than the latest Hunger Games movie and Interstellar. There's so much though, that I'm going to try and keep each review as brief as possible. Boxtrolls.  This might be the worst of the three Laika stop-motion films released so far but it's still a ghoulish delight where the humans are more scary than the monsters and you'll never quite look at cheese the same way again. (8/10) The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies.  A beautifully made monumental bore of a film. The idea to stretch this short book over three long films was clearly insane and result is a bloated, clunkily written case of style over substance, featuring a mix of awful dialogue and never-ending battle scenes. Worst of all, this final film absolutely fail to make proper use of the best thing in any of the Middle Earth films: Martin Freeman as the absurdly likeable Bilbo Baggin...