Because Everybody Else Has One

I know, I know, a decent Gerard Butler film. Who saw that coming? This review is also on Channel 24 What it’s about After a coup removes the controversial Russian president, Zakarin, from power, a submarine crew, captained by the newly promoted Captain Joe Glass, must infiltrate Russian waters to rescue President Zakarin and the team of Navy Seals tasked with getting Zakarin out of the clutches of his captors. All that lies between their success and failure is a full-on war between the USA and Russia and a nuclear World War III. What we thought Playing out like an old-fashioned Cold-War/ submarine thriller, Hunter Killer may pay lip-service to the current geopolitical climate (or, at least, since it was clearly made a few years ago, what the current geopolitical climate would look like under Hilary Clinton) but with just a tweak or two, it could easily have come out around the same time as Crimson Tide or even the Hunt For Red October. This is both its greatest strength and...

Repurposing Lisbeth Salander as an emo James Bond was definitely... an idea. This review is also up on Channel 24 . What it’s about Based on the first Lisbeth Salander novel not written by Stieg Larsson, the Girl in the Spider Web finds Lisbeth once again teaming up with journalist, Mikael Blomkvist, as she navigates her way through Swedish officials, Russian mobsters, American NSA agents and old family ties in an attempt to steal back a potentially devastating nuclear program called Firefall from the NSA for the program’s inventor, who, racked with guilt over the destructive power of his creation, wants to destroy it once and for all. What we thought After David Fincher’s English-language remake of the Girl With the Dragon Tattoo failed to ignite enough interest to bring the rest of Stieg Larsson’s blockbuster Millennium Trilogy to Hollywood – and it’s still not entirely clear why this happened as it did solidly both critically and commercially – the latest attempt to make...

First, no, I'm not suddenly starting to review porn: the film's title is a very pointed reference to Let It Be, Naked by the Beatles and is a crucial part of the plot, so no jokes from you smartasses in the corner, thank you. Second, I made the mistake of rereading my original review so I, inevitably, had to change a few things that I didn't like so this is a somewhat longer and altered version of the review you will find on Channel 24 . I'll try not make a habit of this but, as any writer knows, looking back at your own work is never a smart move as all you see is the mistakes you made and the things you wish you did differently. What it’s about Annie Platt and Duncan Thomson are a couple with a fairly comfortable, if unexciting relationship, living in a small coastal town in England but if there is one thing that constantly places a strain on their relationship, it’s Duncan’s obsession with the life and music of Tucker Crowe, an American indie-rocker who, two d...

And now for bad movie #2.  Not to be all reductive about this but we already have an atrocious "chick flick" being released this week (Nobody's Fool for those of you who don't read every review I ever post) so why not have an atrocious "dude flick" to balance things out. This review is also up on Channel 24 What it’s about It’s been years since Ray Breslin fought his way out of a maximum-security prison and in that time, he has built up a top-of-the-line security force. When Shu, one of his top guys, gets kidnapped and imprisoned by mysterious forces, Breslin’s team works from the outside to free Shu as Shu himself starts to concoct an incredibly risky plan for his own escape. What we thought For a film that featured Stallone and Schwarzenegger teaming up as a couple of tough guys breaking out of a futuristic prison, Escape Plan was an astoundingly forgettable movie. It was released all of five years ago but, as far as I’m concerned, it may as ...

Don't look now but we have a couple of truly terrible films to talk about this week - though, fortunately, one really good one too. Nobody's Fool is the latest film by Tyler Perry and all these years later and he still hasn't convinced me that he's an even barely competent filmmaker, let alone a truly good one. Maybe he should stick to short appearances in David Fincher films? And, while we're at it, has Tifanny Haddish set a record for the speed at which she burned through all the goodwill that she has accumulated over the past year?   This review is also up on Channel 24 . What it’s about Danica is a successful career woman and after having her fiancée leaving her for another woman, is in a long-term relationship with a man she’s only talked to on the phone. When her sister, Tanya, gets out of prison and moves in with her, both aspects of her life threaten to come undone after Tanya comes to the conclusion that the mystery man Danica is seeing is reall...