Because Everybody Else Has One

Lets just say that I found the 195 minutes of Titanic (which I saw for the first time today! And it was much less terrible than I was expecting! And I got to watch it on the big screen in the most comfortable cinema in the city! Unfortunately it was in 3D! But only barely! Review coming soon...) far less tedious and boring than Wrath of The Titans' mere 99 minutes. It also doesn't help that it's one of only three films being released this week - with one of the other two being a Tyler Perry movie (didn't see it, couldn't care less) and the other Margaret, a film that definitively proves that "fascinating" does not always equal "good". That's for later though... For now then, Wrath of the Bloody Titans... Also be sure to check it out Channel24 , where I have already been receiving hateful comments... from people who haven't even seen the blasted thing! Oh how I love the interwebs! What it's about Perseus embarks on a jour...

With 21 Jump Street out of the way, onto some other, often more interesting, films that came out this past weekend.  Carnage: Starting off with a film that is both the most flawed film of the week and the one I enjoyed most, Roman Polanski's Carnage . It's primary flaw becomes pretty obvious within minutes of the film, it is based on a play and, for all of his experience as a filmmaker, Polanski fails to fully translate a story that is fundamentally theatrical into something cinematic. As such, the "action" is somewhat static, the dialogue somewhat stagey and the characters somewhat hyper-real. With all that said though, Carnage is a complete delight from beginning to end. I know, I know, "delight" seems an odd word to describe a film called Carnage but, though there is a reason for its title, it certainly doesn't exactly encapsulate the feel of the film itself. A more apropos title would probably have been "Adults Behaving Badly" or someth...

Overseas critics seem to love it, South African critics seem to hate it, I am somewhat more mixed about it but 21 Jump Street is probably the big release this week so here's a full review of it. I do need to point out that I say in my review I mention that Hot Fuzz is the only decent buddy-cop film to come out for ages and, though it is the film to beat, I do have to also mention The Other Guys, which is simply incredibly funny. It's probably Will Ferrell's funniest performance outside of Anchorman and Mark Wahlberg is flat out hilarious in it. And yes, The Other Guys is also generally much funnier and much less compromised than 21 Jump Street as well. I actually meant to include it in my review but it totally slipped my mind until just a couple of hours ago. My bad.   Also up at Channel24 What it's about A pair of novice cops go undercover in a high school to infiltrate a drug ring. What we thought Considering its most unpromising of origins – a b...

I didn't post a roundup last week because I hadn't yet seen John Carter but, seeing as how I have no plans to check it out until it starts showing in 2D, I'm just going to shelve it for a while and review those films I have seen.  Project X: I missed the press screening for Project X, but because of all the anti-hype, I had to see what all the fuss was about and paid to see it last week. Would you know it, it was every bit as rotten as the most scathing reviews would have you believe. If not more so. I saw it at Nu Metro on a Wednesday so I saw it for less than half the price but I still feel bad for contributing anything to the profits of so vile an excuse for a film. Not only is it entirely without a single laugh, a problem that is enough to sink any so-called comedy, it's misogynistic, mean spirited, entirely pointless and features some of the most hateful characters to hit our screens since Adam Sandler decided to put on a dress and play his own sister.  A fil...

That's right! A brand spankin' new music review. Not a new album, you understand: it's damn near 50 years old, but a new review of an album that I never ever covered before - not even in my slightly embarrassing but enthusiastic Epinions days. And, despite being a fan of the dude for the last 8 (?) years and listening to him even longer, this is also my very first Bob Dylan review. What took me so long? Well, read on and you might get some idea... Bob Dylan is the one great '60s musical acts that I have always been terrified to write about. I still kind of am, to be honest. Quite aside for the fact that this humble Jewish kid from Hibbing Minnesota has very probably been the subject of more articles, reviews, books and scholarly papers than any other 20th century pop-culture icon, coming to terms with the mercurial genius of Dylan's music is not something to be taken lightly. "Genius" is a word that is thrown around far too indiscriminately these da...

Well, OK, actually it's a bunch of movies from this week and only War Horse from last week as I haven't seen the likes of Ghost Rider 2 (indeed, as a big a comics fan as I am, I haven't seen Ghost Rider 1 either), The Devil Inside or Elite Squad: The Enemy Within. Still, there are some notable films to talk about anyway... though, of course, not always in a good way.   War Horse: Taking a look through most film critics' opinions about War Horse, it's either a really beautiful and moving slice of old fashioned storytelling or an unbearable avalanche of manipulative schmaltz. Personally, I lean more towards the former but, honestly, it's really kind of a whole lot of both. There's no two ways about it: War Horse is immensely emotionally manipulative - it's just that it so happens to have been directed by Steven Spielberg, the absolute master of unashamedly tugging at the heart strings. It certainly has its weaknesses in that it is a bit overly long and...

Another year, another Academy Awards, with everything that means: an overall show that I enjoy far, far more than I probably should, wins that I agree with, wins that I don't, boring acceptance speeches, great acceptance speeches and a boatload of extra bits and bobs that are technically filler but are usually rather enjoyable. And, for the 9th time, Billy Crystal proving once again that no one is a better fit for the show than him.  Onto some thoughts about a few of the actual winners and losers - to say nothing of the not-even-nominated. Best Supporting Actress Possibly the most clear cut of all categories. Octavia Spencer fully deserved her win - though oddly enough, the second best of those nominated is her co-star in The Help, Jessica Chastain. Nice, heartfelt speech too.

Chris Pine! Tom Hardy! Reese Witherspoon! Total Bollocks! Also at Channel24  What it's about Two secret agents and best friends find that they're both dating the same woman. What we thought If there is one criticism hurled at critics time and time again is that they're out of step with the “general public” in that they spend so much time analysing a film that they are unable to sit back and simply take it for what it is. Without getting to the validity – or severe lack thereof – of this argument, it usually comes up either on the release of a new “art film”, in which case the critic is accused of a pretentious need to look smarter than the “average” film goer, or on the release of big-budget blockbusters, in which case the critic is accused of over-analysing what is supposed to be nothing more than a couple of hours of brainless entertainment.

So, here we go again. After falling way behind on reviews not written for Channel24, here are very snappy reviews (usually) of a whole load of movies. Some great, some less so. On with the show then! The Descendants: I'm clearly not doing this in any order so we might as well start off with one of the best films released so far this year. It might be too quiet and uneventful for some movie goers but I thought that was part of the charm of a film that is as touching as it is funny and one that will stay with you long after you leave the cinema. Clooney is always a great screen presence but this may well be his best role yet but relative newcomer Shailene Woodley  threatens to steal the whole film from under him. He may not be prolific but The Descendants is just further proof that Alexander Payne is one of America's greatest filmmakers. (10/10) The Skin I Live In: This is sure to go down as one of the year's strangest films but it is also undoubtedly one of its most co...

Coming soon hopefully are roundups of the last month's worth of films that I haven't mentioned yet and a look at the upcoming Oscars. For now though, here's a pretty interesting superhero film that, much to my utter obliviousness at the time of writing, was directed by a South African director and largely shot in Cape Town. Who knew? Also at Channel24   What it's about After discovering a mysterious artifact, three high schoolers gain super powers but it's not long before they find their lives spiraling out of control as they try to come to terms with their new found telekinetic abilities. What we thought Chronicle, the latest cinematic deconstruction of the superhero may strike those who are new to the genre as a true original, but for those of us weened on comics over the last quarter century – or avid film-goers who have already sat through Kick Ass, Watchmen, The Incredibles, Defendor, Super and Mystery Men - could tell you, there is nothi...