Because Everybody Else Has One

Begging for an Oscar, deserving a raspberry.   This review is also up on Channel 24 What it’s about Erin Bell is a washed-up, self-destructive detective who is drawn into a new case involving a group of criminals whose gang she infiltrated years previously in a disastrous undercover operation. Will this case drag her even further down as it reopens old wounds or will it giver her one final shot at redemption? What we thought Continuing Nicole Kidman’s return to prominence, Destroyer casts her in the sort of role that is almost entirely the opposite of the sort on which she built her name. Where once she was typecast in roles that called for a certain brittleness and fragility (see the underrated horror film, The Others, for arguably the best example of this), here she plays someone tough and almost entirely emotionally closed off. She is, in short, excellent as our anti-hero Erin Bell. Sadly, she is hampered by having to act her way through some distractingly overb...

This is probably the "biggie" of the week. It's a weird one, though. Some reviewers absolutely love it. Some hate it. Me, I'm somewhere in the middle. This review is also up on Channel 24 What it’s about Alexander Elliot is a normal twelve-year-old boy but when he stumbles across a sword in a stone while fleeing a couple of bullies, he finds himself caught in an adventure where the fate of the Earth itself hangs in balance. The sword in the stone is, in fact, the Sword in the Stone – Excalibur – and the threat is no less than the evil half-sister of Arthur himself, Morgana. Excalibur may have deemed Alex worthy but can he, a now-young Merlin and a ragtag group of child-knights come together to battle this ancient threat or will infighting destroy them before they even get the chance? What we thought The legend of King Arthur and Camelot is the sort of tale that isn’t just timeless in the way it has resonated down the centuries but is pliable enough that it...

Three brand new reviews this week of films of varying quality and genre. Though, I must say, the best film released in SA cinemas this week was, by far, Cold Pursuit, which I haven't reviewed - though I might this coming week, time permitting. Anyway, up first, the silly but reasonably enjoyable, Escape Room. This review, like the next two, is also up on Channel 24 .  What it’s about A group of strangers is promised $10,000 for being able to complete a series of difficult “escape rooms” but when they get to the location they quickly find out that it’s not money but their lives that are on the line. What we thought Replacing the gruesome torture-porn of the Saw films with a no less deadly but significantly more PG13 series of puzzles and traps where one false move can mean a horrible end to one of its lucky contestants, Escape Room does an impressive job of making the puzzles smart enough and deadly enough to keep audiences quite solidly gripped throughout. Or, at least...

Been meaning to post this the past few days but load shedding kept getting in my way (thanks, Eskom!). Hopefully, you already saw my review of this delightful little movie over on Channel 24  but here it is in case you haven't. What it’s about The true story of Saraya “Paige” Knight, the youngest daughter of a family of wrestlers from Norwich, England who went on to become a famous wrestler for the WWE.   What we thought When we first meet Saraya Knight, the hero of our story, she is ten years old and in the middle of a pretty full-on wrestling match with her older brother with their parents cheering them on. The scene captures your attention immediately and sets the tone for what is to come. Fighting With My Family is a fairly straightforward sports movie in many ways but the sense of humour and sense of the ridiculous that are clear right from that opening scene give the film a real edge over most of its competitors.  Echoes of other true-li...

Considering just how many misogynist garbage-people have come out in protest of this film and its brilliant star, I'm tempted just to give Captain Marvel 10 stars, call it one of the must-see films of the year and leave it at that. But, let's be honest, unlike my reviews on Channel 24, which apparently get pretty good numbers, I don't think I'm going to make too much of a difference on the international box office by appealing just to you, my dear three readers, to be sure to catch this in cinemas. Most importantly, though, it has made a hilariously large sum at the Box Office, both "domestic" and international so that takes care of that. Here instead then, is my slightly more muted review of what just happens to be yet another damn good addition to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It's not the best MCU film but it's far away from the worst. And, again, if it pisses off so many women-hating troglodytes, it must be doing something right!     Just a...

No, this isn't Captain Marvel. I do hope to review the latest entry in the MCU very soon but first, my latest Channel 24 review: White Boy Rick. Frankly, I'd rather be talking about Captain Marvel. What it’s about The true story of a teenager who worked as a mole for the FBI in one of Detroit's leading drug-dealing gangs and, after being cut loose by the same agents after an event that nearly cost him his life, he becomes a major drug dealer himself. What we thought The story on which White Boy Rick is based is fairly extraordinary and its payoff is a poignant criticism of the American justice system, so why is the film itself just so underwhelming? It’s certainly not the excellent cast that includes the likes of Matthew McConaughey, Bruce Dern, Jennifer Jason Leigh and Ben Powley or newcomer Richie Meritt who plays our anti-hero, the White Boy Rick of the title, in a manner that highlight just how incredible it is that a kid like this could possibly be an FBI...

It's been a while since I did a blog-exclusive review but this little gem of a film can far too easily escape the attention of those looking for a worthwhile time at the pictures.  It seems to have become something of a tradition since I started reviewing films for there to be at least one truly excellent coming-of-age film released per year. From the Way, Way Back to Ladybird, what may well be my single favourite genre of them all has really come to the table this century with funny, poignant and humane films about that most peculiar and often painful period in anyone's life: adolescence. Eighth Grade not only stands tall in that tradition but for those of us who fell or fall anywhere on the spectrums of introversion, social-awkwardness or anxiety (I tick all three boxes; yay me!), it will pack a particularly powerful and far, far too truthful emotional punch. And I'm really not underplaying the power of the film to reach out and grab your inner socially-anxious tee...

We've already had Hollywood trying its luck with Ghost in the Shell so how does it fare with another iconic manga property? Like Ghost in the Shell, adapting Alita: Battle Angel has been, if nothing else, more interesting than one might expect... This review is also on Channel 24 What It’s About Hundreds of years in the future, much of the world lays in ruins as a nuclear World War between Earth’s sky-cities have decimated humanity. One of the planet’s last remaining sky-cities, Tiphares, hovers above a place known simply as Scrapyard City, so named because it is literally a dumping ground for the trash and waste coming from the affluent city above it. When biomechanical expert, Dr. Ido, finds a cyborg head amongst the heaps of garbage routinely discarded from Tiphares, he attaches the head to a mechanical body that he made for his deceased daughter. The transplant is a success but the cyborg has no idea who she is or where she’s from so Ido adopts her as his own and na...

After being spoiled of late with really excellent horror, is there still space for a horror film that is simply very solid? I hope so... This review is also up on Channel 24 . What it’s about As Miles, a gifted child, grows from being a developmentally advanced baby into an exceptionally intelligent eight-year old, his parents start to notice that his brilliance is matched by increasingly worrisome behaviour. Are Miles’ increasingly anti-social actions a result of mental illness or something far more sinister? And what does the death of a ruthless serial killer on the day of Miles’ birth have to do with all of it? As mother, Sarah, and father, John, find their loving relationship taking strain, Sarah finds herself in a battle for the soul of her son, even as he becomes a greater and greater risk to them both. What we thought It’s been weeks since I finished watching it, but I’m still basking in the glow of Netflix’s sublime The Haunting of Hill House and it’s hard for ...

I apparently have a pathological inability to not talk about the latest superhero movies on my blog, here are a few quick thoughts on M Night  (or as my pal, Dr. Jan Itor calls him, "mmm")  Shyamalan's latest. I won't be giving away much beyond what the trailers and synopses already suggest but if you want to know absolutely nothing going in, maybe read this after seeing the film. Despite churning out more bad films in a row than almost anyone this side of Ed Wood, Uwe Boll and Michael Bay, M Night Shyamalan's film career was somehow not capsized by the chain of disasters that was Lady in the Water, the Last Airbender, and the Happening or even after that final explosion of shrieking awfulness: After Earth. These easily rank among the (inoffensive but still) worst films ever made and it's a wonder that Shyamalan was still able to find funding to do his thing. Amazingly, though, after a decade in the dumps, the man who I really can't help but call ...