Because Everybody Else Has One

Hey, we're getting this a full two weeks before the US! Too bad it's such a dud... As always, I will try my best to avoid spoilers, especially as the trailer actually didn't give very much away, but there is a section in this review that deals lightly with what happens from the beginning of the second act on that you may want to skip until you've seen the film. It is clearly indicated, though, and, fairly vague but proceed with some caution for that paragraph.  Plot: Two years after the Jurassic World theme park was destroyed by dinosaurs, the island on which it resides, Isla Nublar, faces total annihilation as its volcano roars to deadly life. In a last-ditch effort to save the dinosaurs, Claire Dearing (Bryce Dallas Howard) once again joins forces with former dinosaur-trainer and current ex-boyfriend, Owen Grady (Chris Pratt), to return to the Island at the behest of the co-creator of the original Jurassic Park and John Hammond's former partner, Benjamin Loc...

The culmination of ten years of Marvel films deserves a longer review than usual, don't you think? Please note: I have done my best to avoid anything even vaguely resembling a spoiler, but if you really want to know NOTHING going in, feel free to read this only after seeing the film. This should give away even less than the trailer, though... This review is also currently up on Channel 24 . What it's about A culmination of the past ten years of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thanos, the Mad Titan, puts the final plans in motion to collect the final four Infinity Stones: six gems of incredible power formed from the Big Bang that, when uses together, allow those who wield them the power to instantly rewrite the Universe however they wish. All that stands between Thanos and his insane wish to rid the universe of half of its living beings are the Avengers and the Guardians of the Galaxy – but do even the Galaxy's Mightiest Mortals have what it takes to stand up to...

Middle School is most definitely not the movie that most people have been looking forward to this week. As such, here are a few thoughts on two of the week's truly noteworthy films. As you may have guessed, my Middle School review can be also be found at Channel 24  but my thoughts on the other two films, no matter how short, are exclusive to Because Everybody Else Has One. Man, I really should have come up with a shorter name for this blog, though... Hacksaw Ridge is a potent reminder of both Mel Gibson's very real skill as a director of visceral, affecting, engrossing cinema (albeit cinema with all the subtlety of a very, very large sledgehammer) but it's also a reminder that it's not always easy to separate the artist from the art. However much this may be Gibson's "repentance" movie where he makes up for his past sins by shining a spotlight on a genuine hero whose story absolutely deserves to be widely known, I couldn't help but be distr...

Well, I like it. This review is also up at Channel 24 What it's about A remake of the classic western (which itself was a remake of the even more classic Seven Samurai), seven gunslingers are called to protect a town from a vicious crime boss who is trying to bully them out of their homes. What we thought Remaking classic films always strikes me as a rather stupid idea because, no matter how good the remake, it always struggles to escape the shadow of its predecessor. This, incidentally, is why it always makes much more sense to remake mediocre or highly flawed movies, as that way you can rely on an existing property but you might actually have a chance of transcending your source. See horror classics like the Fly or the Thing to view first hand just how well this works when done properly. When it comes to remaking the Magnificent Seven, though, things are rather more complicated. Not only was the original itself a remake (though this is actually one of t...

Buuuuuuum... Bum bum buuuuuum After untold years in development hell, we finally have a new Jurassic Park movie. It's a fun, occasionally thrilling and unquestionably enjoyable trip back to the 1993 original and it is, most probably, the best of the sequels (it's been a while since I've seen the Lost World). Does it add anything new to the franchise, though? Of that, at least, I'm resolutely unconvinced. The basic structure of the film is basically identical to Jurassic Park and the theme of "you were so busy wondering if you could, you never stopped to consider if you should" (to paraphrase the much missed Dr Ian Malcolm) is as central as ever. And frankly, the latter question can just as easily be applied to the film in general. Jurassic World wisely ignores the original's unquestionably inferior sequels, but at least those sequels felt like actual followups. Or, at least the second one did. The biggest problem with Jurassic World is that it carve...

Judging by international box office reports, every person on earth has seen this already and have already formed their own opinions. Still, there was no way that I wasn't going to throw in my two cents, so here's my own take on what is easily the most unexpected Marvel hit of them all. Proving that the Marvel brand is all but indestructible, Guardians of the Galaxy made, in the U.S. alone, a whopping 94 million dollars on its opening weekend. Think about that for a moment. This isn't a film based on a well known comics property, nor is it one that has as its star an A-grade action hero or an even remotely commercial director at its helm. Instead - and all of its marketing has reflected this - it's an unabashedly bonkers space adventure with some seriously quirky anti-heroes at its centre, coated in several layers of cheese, a day-glo colour pallet and a gleefully now-obscure 1970s pop soundtrack. It's the kind of formula that makes Joss Whedon's brilliant b...