Because Everybody Else Has One

I apparently have a pathological inability to not talk about the latest superhero movies on my blog, here are a few quick thoughts on M Night  (or as my pal, Dr. Jan Itor calls him, "mmm")  Shyamalan's latest. I won't be giving away much beyond what the trailers and synopses already suggest but if you want to know absolutely nothing going in, maybe read this after seeing the film. Despite churning out more bad films in a row than almost anyone this side of Ed Wood, Uwe Boll and Michael Bay, M Night Shyamalan's film career was somehow not capsized by the chain of disasters that was Lady in the Water, the Last Airbender, and the Happening or even after that final explosion of shrieking awfulness: After Earth. These easily rank among the (inoffensive but still) worst films ever made and it's a wonder that Shyamalan was still able to find funding to do his thing. Amazingly, though, after a decade in the dumps, the man who I really can't help but call ...

Well, that winning streak was fun while it lasted... This review is also up at Channel 24 What it's about A decade after the events of X-Men: Days of Future's Past, our favourite mutants once again find themselves standing between humanity and a potentially world-destroying threat: this time in the form of Apocalypse, the god-like first mutant who decides to “cleanse” and remake in his image the world he awakes to after thousands of years entombed in an Egyptian crypt. What we thought Between Deadpool and the previous two X-Men movies, Days of Futures Past and First Class, it looked for all the world like Fox studios had finally gotten a firm handle on their Marvel Mutant-verse properties after seriously dropping the ball with the likes of X-Men: Origins – Wolverine and X-Men 3. Sadly, though no one in their right mind would dare suggest that X-Men: Apocalypse is anywhere near as bad as the worst X-Men movies, let alone Fox's manhandling of the Fantast...

Don't call me Ee-gor. This review is also up at Channel 24 What it's about The latest retelling of Mary Shelly's Frankenstein, tells the very familiar story from the point of view of Victor Frankenstein's lowly assistant, Igor: in this version a nameless circus hunchback with a brilliant medical mind who is freed by Frankenstein and, after taking the name of the good doctor's absent roommate, starts to assist him in his mission to create life out of death. What we thought For all that Victor Frankenstein tries to make itself out to be a fresh new take on the extremely well worn story of Frankenstein and his “Modern Prometheus”, the main problem with the film is precisely that it feels tired and stale more than anything else. There are some spirited and enjoyable performances, most notably Daniel Radcliffe as Igor and James McAvoy as the titular character but even if everything is put together with competence by director Paul McGuigan, the...

And you thought the Avengers was packed... While Guardians of the Galaxy is still the year's biggest unknown quantity in terms of superhero movies, X-Men: Days of Future Past was always the one had the biggest potential for really falling flat on its face. Sure, X-Men: First Class restored the X-Men franchise after a couple of truly wretched entries in the form of X-Men III: The Last Stand and X-Men: Origins - Wolverine but First Class was a focused and ultimately very contained story. However X-Men: Days of Future Past was going to turn out, it was destined to be anything but contained. Indeed, it looked doomed to suffer from the same kind of Mutant overload that helped sink the already rather sinkable X-Men III. Based on one of the comics franchise's most beloved stories, Days of Future Past does indeed, it has to be said, feature a boatload of Mutants in a time-travelling story that spans decades and two quite different cinematic incarnations of the X-Men. Unlike that...

Well, it's that time of year again... Santa Clausians of the world rejoice! (Also at Channel24)   What it's about: Santa Claus's youngest son, Arthur (voiced by James McAvoy) sets off on a mission to correct a mistake made by his father's hi-tech operation: To give a Christmas present to a little girl who was overlooked. What we thought: At a cursory glance, Arthur Christmas doesn't look too promising. Its frankly awful title aside, Arthur Christmas isn't just a seasonal kids film, but a seasonal kids film that sets out to answer that most ridiculous of eternally ridiculous questions: Just how does Santa Claus deliver all those presents to all those billions of kids in a single night? Isn't devoting a film to answering that question more or less the same as devoting an entire film to figuring out why Superman can fly?  Worse, this is a Christmas film whose main plot revolves around Santa delivering presents, which means it will ...

I'm late with this again but here we actually have a fairly small week in terms of films that I've actually seen. Also released were Skoonheid, Soul Surfer and African Cats, all of which I have missed but as for what I've seen, it was a pretty damn decent week for film. Tamara Drewe was released on something like three screens throughout the country but I am covering it because a) I'm sure you will be able to find it on DVD in no time at all and b) it has become such a rarity for British films to actually make it to cinemas in our country that I'm not simply going to ignore one that actually does. Tamara Drewe is based on a generally well-regarded British graphic novel that I have admittedly not read but there's little point in getting into the film's plot as it really is a collection of cascading stories about a group of characters whose lives are affected, to various degrees, by the presence of our titular protagonist : a very beautiful but very t...