Because Everybody Else Has One

Yup, two blog-exclusive reviews in a week! What is the world coming to? It's like it's 2015 or something... I wasn't just going to let this one pass, though. What it's about: Three years into their five-year mission, the crew of Starship Enterprise have settled into a rut of monotonous exploration and often aggravating diplomacy, with at east two of their senior staff contemplating a change in career. While enjoying a short break at the Federation's farthest and most technologically advanced outpost, Yorktown, they are called to suit up for what should be a routine rescue mission but turns out to be something that will challenge both their resolve and the very basis of the United Federation of Planets to which they have pledged their lives.   What I thought:  Though I remain one of the increasingly few fans of Star Trek Into Darkness, I have to admit that I had a real sense of trepidation about this, the third film in the rebooted Star Trek film franchise. B...

A very quick look at one of the best animated films of the year.  And, yes, I do like this more than Finding Dory. What it's about: Kubo lives a quiet life in a small Japanese village, tending to his ill mother and entertaining the people of the village with his magical ability to transform simple pieces of paper into animated origami just by plucking the strings on his old, trusty guitar-like instrument, bringing to life fantastical but possibly true stories of heroism and adventure. It isn't long, however, before the turbulent, violent past that brought Kubo and his mother to the village in the first place, up-ends his quiet existence and sends him on a dangerous mission to acquire the three objects needed to stop the ancient, immortal evil that threatens all that he holds dear.        What I thought:  Kubo and the Two Strings may sound like an orientally-themed indie band but it's actually the wonderful fourth film from the animation wizards a...

"Legendary", he may well be, but there's nothing "legendary" about this flat, uninspired biopic of the Brazillian football great.  This review is also up at Channel 24 What it's about The true story of legendary football player, Edson Arantes do Nascimento – or Pele as he is better known - that his early life from childhood poverty in the slums of Brazil to redefining Brazilian football forever with his appearance as the youngest ever player in the 1958 World Cup. What we thought There's clearly a good film to made about the life and career of Pele but, sadly, Pele: The Birth of a Legend is very much not it. As someone who is not now and will almost definitely never be a soccer fan, Pele does have to work twice as hard to win me over but there's something telling that the only times the film came even close to holding my attention was during its nicely cinematic football matches. Not only are these scenes surprisingly exci...

Another day, another disappointing DC cinematic offering. But hey, at least it's better than Batman V Superman. Yay? This review is also up at Channel 24 What it's about With the rise of superheroes and super villains, a secret government agency enlists a group of some of the America's deadliest killers, thieves and madmen as their own defence against god-like villains and renegade heroes. What we thought For the first third of Suicide Squad, it looked like DC was finally well on its way after the major failures of Man of Steel and Batman V Superman. Sadly, the film doesn't end there and goes on to squander its potential for another 90 minutes after that. The overall grey colour palette and murky lighting is still a problem (at least it certainly was at the cinema in which I saw it) but at least it's shot through with a bit of colour this time. More importantly, the dour tone of its predecessors is somewhat counterbalanced by a sense of the ab...

But is it our kind of movie? This review is also up at Channel 24 What it's about An ordinary British couple head to Morocco on vacation to try and sort out some of their marital problems but, while there, they come into contact with a charismatic Russian mobster who, after befriending the husband, convinces him to hand over a flash disk to the British government when he returns home. That, however, is only the start of their entanglement with the Russian, who, as it turns out wants Asylum in England for he and his family after his new boss makes it clear that he is out to “clear house” of older “employees” who have outlived their usefulness. What we thought John Le Carre seems to have become, over the past few years, the current “it” author in terms of TV and movie adaptations, what with his paranoia-drenched spy tails clearly resonating strongly with the current political climate. Hot on the heels of his highly acclaimed miniseries, the Night Manager, comes ...

I really do wish I could be nicer about this Really, I do. This review is also up at Channel 24 What it's about A rebellious young man, estranged from his ex-military father, starts to have a series of dreams where he is part of his father's platoon during his campaign in Angola but these are no ordinary dreams as he starts to discover things about his father that he had no other way of knowing. What we thought There's a real sense of writer/ director, Craig Gardner, pouring his heart and soul into My Father's War, to the point that, without knowing much about Gardner or any real behind the scenes facts of the film itself, it would not have surprised me at all to find out that everything about the film (save for the supernatural vision-like dreams, presumably) were stripped straight from his own life. As it turns out, things are slightly more complicated than that as the story draws much more from producer Peter Lamberti's life than Gardner...

Who You Gonna Call? Not the sexists, apparently... This review is also up at Channel 24 . What it's about When ghosts start cropping up all over New York City, a trio of paranormal-obsessed scientists team up with a subway worker, who saw one of the ghosts first-hand, to investigate and ultimately stop an apparent ghostly invasion of their city. What we thought Considering Hollywood's love of remaking and retelling beloved movies, books and comics, it's telling that no shoddy remake in history has been greeted with the kind of vitriol that this new take on '80s comedy classic has been greeted with. Even before the admittedly lackluster first trailer hit, reaction to the new, all-female Ghostbusters was overwhelmingly negative but, for all that there were some perfectly fair criticisms against remaking so beloved a cult classic, it was hard to get past the pure, unadulterated misogyny behind (or really smothered all over) most of the criticisms out ...

This may be a bit rich since I'm awful with coming up with names and titles but don't hold its awful title against this otherwise very charming, if slightly flawed, documentary. This review is also up at Channel 24 . What it's about A documentary about the life and work of beloved South African comedian, Pieter Dirk Uys, as explored during his latest comedy tour. What we thought That I am, to be entirely upfront about this, not a particular fan of Pieter-Dirk Uys' comedy, does little to detract from the fact that this documentary only heightened my respect for the man and his work. It's not necessarily a particularly great documentary and the clips we get of his comic performances don't exactly turn him into John Cleese or Bill Hicks in my eyes but Nobody's Died Laughing does do a fine job of capturing Uys' incredible work ethic, his irreverent attitude towards authority and the pulsing humanity that lies behind every joke he's ...

Yet another solidly above average horror movie? What is the world coming to? This review is also up at Channel 24 What it's about A young woman is forced to confront her past and her estranged family when her much younger half-brother is plagued by the same ghostly presence that drove her away from her mother when she was younger. What we thought This year has slowly started to see something of a resurgence in the quality of unexceptional but quietly effective horror films, with both Before I Sleep and the Conjuring 2 being far more enjoyable than most of the chillers of the past few years. They were derivative and unexceptional, to be sure, but at least they kind of delivered on their promise; easily clearing the low bar that the horror genre - or at least the mainstream Hollywood version of it - has set for itself over the past decade or so. Lights Out, which is produced by the Conjuring's James Wan, continues that trend. It's hopelessly unorigi...

Regardless of your own opinions about the cause of the suffering in Gaza (for me it rhymes with... um... Sum Muss), the Idol is about much more universal themes and even if it doesn't entirely succeed, it's at least, at the very worst, a very honourable failure . Also, I was wrong about the two young actors being related, apparently, so though my original Channel 24 review has them listed as brother and sister, I've corrected it for the sake of this blog. What it's about The true story of how Mohammed Assaf, a Palestinian wedding singer, escaped his difficult life in Gaza by fulfilling his life long dream of competing in and winning Arab Idol – the Arabian version of the popular singing competition. What we thought It's hard not to get embroiled in the politics of the region when talking about any film set in Gaza – or obviously, Israel, Iran or Syria – but because the latest film by acclaimed flmmaker, Hany Abu-Asad (Paradise Now, Omar) lar...